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Hello and welcome I am Bonnie and I am Lily and this is Little Home Organised the PodCast dedicated to helping you declutter, get organised and reclaim time for the things you love.
LILY: Pinterest crafty things for my kids, but I can’t right now because there is too much on.
BONNIE: I am starting to wonder if I should have brought tissues
LILY: Actually that is a really good point.
BONNIE: Oh now I am married ???? and you just leave dirty socks all over the floor, anyway continue.
BONNIE: Hello and welcome, this week we are talking about when life gets overwhelming, we are going to dive deep and chat about our personal experiences with overwhelm, what has helped us and simple strategies to overcome your overwhelm
LILY: If you are new to the Podcast, welcome I am Lily
BONNIE: I’m Bonnie
LILY: And we are the faces behind Little Home Organised, we are sister who love organising and in fact Bonnie loves it so much that she has been doing it as a profession for the last 10 years.
BONNIE: Yes I have Little Miss Organised has been running since 2011 and we have a team of organisers in South East Queensland servicing multitudes of clients who are now a little bit more organised in their life and the overwhelm is not so overwhelming.
LILY: Thanks to growing up with little Miss Organised I am more organised and have a passion for organising as well, I don’t do it as my profession but my focus in life is on my studies, I am a post grad psychology student, so if you are new that is just a little bit about us, and if you are not new and you have listened to the Podcast before and you haven’t left a rating and review yet, we would love you to do it, it helps keep the Podcast going and it is a really simple way that you can just give us you know many stars and then just a little line or two on what you love about the Podcast and it helps us keep it going and it makes sure that we are giving you the content that you find helpful and useful as well
BONNIE: Ok so today we are talking about when life gets overwhelming and this is a really personal episode for me
LILY: I am starting to wonder if I should have brought tissues
BONNIE: Actually that is a really good point
LILY: Or maybe you shouldn’t be wearing such a light coloured top, from all the tears that are going to start coming down
BONNIE: They will really show up wont they. So just to give a little bit of background for those who maybe don’t know or haven’t listened in a while, our family, my family has just moved to the Sunshine Coast at Easter time from Brisbane and that is after living in the Redlands for over 20 years and living in Brisbane for over 30’s so big change for us.
LILY: Big change
BONNIE: And that is one of the top 5, top 10 life’s most stressful events, is moving house and then to kind of add to that, you know we have moved up here and there is not really any family support, our brother is here which is like really random because
LILY: He is you happened to buy a house that is like 2 streets away from him, after he has lived up the coast for many years now which is pretty cool
BONNIE: And this is like the first time we have lived closer than an hour away from each other in about 10 or 12 years, so it is really random
LILY: Wow that went so quick didn’t it.
BONNIE: Yeah it really did, not a deciding factor at all but yeah really cool to be closer to him and the kids to be able to hang out with him a big more
LILY: But the consequence of course of moving up here was that you moved away from a lot of grandparent care
BONNIE: Yes, yes and obviously all of our community networks were in Brisbane and the Redlands and yeah like we are really starting afresh with everything but we will get into all of the stuff a little bit more later, but first of all I wanted to talk about what is that list of the that top 5 or top 10 life’s most stressful events.
LILY: Well I want to start with having a baby, which you know you are about to have number 4
BONNIE: Yep, tick
LILY: The reason that that one to me is so interesting is that when we have like a major role transition like that, that can be like hugely stressful and having a baby is one of those things because not only is it a change in care taking and responsibilities and identity, it is also like physiologically changes your body, like there is so much that goes on and from a psychological perspective I am actually working on an assignment at the moment that is on a psychological frame work called interpersonal psychotherapy and interpersonal psychotherapy identifies 3 major areas as kind of the causes of major distress for people and one of them is a role transition
LILY: Yeah and that is when you suddenly go from working full time to retiring
LILY: Or from not being a mum to being a mum
BONNIE: Or from being a teenager and having to grow up and be an adult all of a sudden
LILY: Yeah transitioning out of school. So transitions are actually like a real cause for distress and like this framework identifies that and if finds by helping people process and go through the you know transitions that you can help relieve these symptoms, oh I am so thick in this assignment right now, but another thing that is really stressful, one of the major stressful life events of course that everybody knows about is death and this is framework also looks at loss and grief as like really important, you know because when someone dies that does distrupt our world and it shakes things and turns things on our head and you know suddenly a fully functioning household and fully mentally healthy person is you know, things change because when someone dies it is drastic and our mental health is affected, our home may suddenly look really chaotic and because we are trying to cope and process and then of course the other area that the IPT looks at is inter-person conflicts right so another major life event that produces a lot of stress for people is of course separation and divorce and so it is a really cool framework of like helping people through their issues but it is also really practical in the sense that there are these major events that happen that make us really, really stressed out, really overwhelmed, death, divorce, like you have just moved, having a baby
BONNIE: Yeah on that like separation and divorce one, I actually would like to kind of put in there as well, even when you break up from a long term relationship cause I can remember as a 17, 18 year old having two heartbreaks and they were super devastating and like completely life shattering and I think that especially when you do get a bit older and you might not have gotten married and so it is not a divorce but it is a breakdown of that relationship and you know maybe your defacto or you have been living together for a long-time or something like that, when that separation or that split actually happens it is majorly, it is life altering and just really, really tough
LILY: Yeah absolutely and I mean you clearly came out the other side and found someone who fixed that heartbreak
BONNIE: Who drives me nuts but I love to death, yes I have got the perfect balance.
LILY: So there are other things that of course are really really stressful in life, maybe you have just started a new job, like completely new company, maybe it is a promotion, maybe you, you know just had like this major change your now working from home, maybe because of COVID, you know lots of things happened with people with COVID like that totally changed things or maybe you got sick or someone in your family got sick
BONNIE: Or it could be that there is some sort of chronic illness that maybe wasn’t there before but it is there now because of an accident or injury or just a diagnosis that has kind of popped up and that is something that goes on in our household as well, like I have two children with needs and so that definitely creates a lot of stress because it is not your neuro typical family dynamic that you need to deal with although to be perfectly honest I don’t know any family that is fully functional,
LILY: like I feel like every family has some form of quirks don’t we.
BONNIE: We do and I mean that is just the beauty of this mess of this life, we know we are all very different and together we make a beautiful painting. Splotch, splotch
LILY: Poetry with Bonnie, um so another thing that has kind of happened with COVID of course, peoples jobs were affected and like you know lives upended for many people but also this created some financial issues for a lot of people and when we do have financial issues it can make things really tough, like financial issues right are like one of the main causes for divorce
BONNIE: Yeah 100% and like even if you are not actually in a financial situation where you are incurring a lot of debt or you feel like you a bit overwhelmed and not keeping up with bills and stuff like that, if you don’t actually know what your financial status is and what you can freely spend on things, that can create a little bit of stress as well, is just that not knowing and then not feeling like you are in control and on top of your finances and that means when you go out can I actually afford to buy this lunch out, can I actually afford to buy my child that new set of shoes that they need or something like because you don’t know and that is where the knowledge is power.
LILY: So because I am obsessed with this assignment that I am doing one of the things you have just said there that has also like triggered me is one of the things that this framework identifies is a major problem in peoples like, so like when this crisis happens, grief, loss, transition whatever but then what happens is that often people withdraw from their social supports or don’t utilise them effectively so like if you are really financially stressed and your friends are going out for lunch and you are not sure you can afford it, you might choose not to go, and then that can snowball and that can happen for all different kinds of things in life and so one of the things that is really simple is making sure that we are still socially engaging because it is actually like a real bit part of our health and on that note I have also done a huge amount of research on not personally running these studies but assessing studies for different assessment that I am doing at uni and the relationship between your level of belongingness in the world and your wellbeing is so highly correlated so basically if you don’t have a good sense of wellbeing and you know place in the world and place in your community which you can imagine if you move somewhere new, to try and determine that, it actually is directly has a relationship with your wellbeing and your mental health and so like if you put that into the perspective of a lot these life stressful events, if they are totally displacing you in your community, displacing you socially so like a divorce that you are going through that is such a huge feeling of displacement becoming a mum for the first time, is a feeling of displacement
BONNIE: Absolutely and you think about if you have newly immigrated somewhere and maybe you don’t understand the language or the culture or I think of as an adolescent like those teen angst years where you just were struggling to work out where do I fit in, where is my acceptance, who are my peer groups
LILY: Who am I
BONNIE: Yeah your self identity, all of that sort of stuff like it is huge and it comes, it is funny because it actually comes back again later in life as well and you think as a teenager when I grow up and you know all these teen angst years are behind me I am going to know who I am, I am going to have great relationships, I am never going to have all this rubbish that goes on in high school with your friendship group
LILY: Adulting was like the grass is greener over there, wasn’t it. The light at the end of the tunnel
BONNIE: You know that is why that movie, suddenly 30 was so popular because every 13 year old girl was like I want to be 30, I want to be able to wear cool high heels and amazing dressers and
LILY: have money to spend
BONNIE: And have money to spend on stuff and you know a cool apartment and all of that kind of stuff and then you get there and you realise actually being 30 is kind of hard
LILY: A little rough
BONNIE: Especially when you have young kids, so it is that the grass is always greener but especially with the identity side of things, after becoming a mother or after your children have grown and there is that okay I have just, I am no longer needed in this
LILY: Not the way I was before
BONNIE: Really high care, high responsibility that way that I have been for the last 15-20 years who am I now? Like it just never stops
LILY: We will answer that question after the break, just kidding we cant tell you who you are, but what we will do is we will come back after a break and we will talk about yes some personal experiences of overwhelm but we are also going to talk about some strategies because this overwhelm often flows throughout the house and of course we are here to help you get on top of that stuff. So we will be back after the break.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Hello so I have a question, I seem to have a struggle with papers, when I get mail or cards in the mail or things like that they end up on the kitchen table or on the dinning room table and they stack up and yeah what do you do with important documents or documents that you don’t necessarily need to throw away right away but you think you might need in the next month or so before throwing away? Where do you place those items? Thank you I love your ???? talk group and I am trying to join your group as well. Thank you
LILY: Yeah thanks Brandon what a great question and thanks for coming and joining our LMO community on Facebook and checking us out on the TikTok. I love this question because this was me and Brandon’s position several years ago before I got a proper paperwork system in place and it is like so critically just to have somewhere to track the flow of the paper that comes in because if we don’t have the system in place then we end up in that position where it is like, what do I do with it when it first comes in the door but then also what do I do if it is important and I don’t want it to be in long term storage and I still need it to be accessible so I am going to hand this one over to you.
BONNIE: Oh okay so what I do, I am completely digital Brandon so when
LILY: So maybe it will come back to me then. I am doing the system you taught me
BONNIE: But before I was completely digital I used the daily paper flow system which is what you are referring to and we talk about this on the Little Miss Organised website, the daily paper flow system but that is basically a 5 draw desk organiser with an inbox on the top so that everything that comes into the house goes into the in-tray and then it gets delegated every night you spend you know 5 or 10 minutes sorting out any papers into their particular trays and the first tray is like your urgent to do and that might be a bill needs paying and I will go and highlight what the due date is and also the amount and then your second draw is like non urgent to do, so this might be more project things or things that you just need to remember for down the track and then you have got like your to scan or file draws so if you are digital you are going to scan it, if you are not digital it is stuff that needs to be filed so this is like after you have paid a bill but maybe you still want to keep a copy of it and pop that in the draw to, the other thing I do with bills is once they are paid I actually write on the bill and even though I scan it in, I write on the bill that date that it was paid and if there is a reference number or something like that, and then the 4th draw is to read if time, so this where you might get your recipes or your parenting articles or things like that, things that you want to read but they are not kind of urgent and then your last draw is like upcoming events, so this might be you have got tickets to go and see a performance, they are still in hard copy they are not digital, you don’t want to carry them around in a handbag or a diary
LILY: But you want them somewhere safe
BONNIE: But you need them somewhere safe so they go in that last draw
LILY: What is really great about this system is well as the draws act as boundaries, so as soon as the draw fills up you know that the short term storage has reached capacity and has to now be filed in the long term storage or scanned, uploaded, shredded what have you.
BONNIE: Yeah so with me being digital what I tend to do is when paper comes into the house I will action it straight away, so every day at around dinner time I will look at whatever paper has come in and I will action it right there and then, so say it is like a birthday invitation for my children, I will actually take a photo and put the event in the calendar and attach the invitation to the calendar event and then that piece of paper can go in the recycling straight away, another small tip is if you are brining letters into the house and you don’t need the envelope or you don’t need the product disclosure statement that comes with it or some sort of pamphlet that has come with it, ditch that stuff straight away just keep the important piece of paper that has got you know your personal details and the bill to be paid and that side of things on there to action.
LILY: And the other thing I would add because I use this system if you are just too busy and you want to make sure that your paperwork doesn’t get lost and end up on your kitchen bench or somewhere where is shouldn’t be and you end up with paperwork trails throughout the house, you want to keep it all in this one area so making use of the in-tray that sits on top of this paperwork system is great because it is like it is in the in-tray and then I can sort it from there into my draws and then from my draws it can then go into long term digital wherever. So you know I really like the in-tray and that is something that has been very useful but this paperwork system sounds simple, totally effective. I recommend it.
BONNIE: It is really life changing and you know even though I don’t need the draws anymore because I am digital I still have the in-tray and if I can’t pay a bill right there and then I will pop it in the in-tray for you know the next day or a couple of days later when I go and do kind of like a paperwork day.
LILY: Yeah like many pieces of clutter in the house if it is homeless it is going to be a problem, so at the very least give it a home.
BONNIE: I hope that helps Brandon and thanks for your listener question
BONNIE: Ok so we are talking about overwhelm today when life gets overwhelming and I would like to know for you, can you give me 1 or 2 experiences in your life, perhaps since becoming a mum or in the last kind of 5 years and what were those kind of major stresses for you.
LILY: Oh that’s hard. It is hard that you said 1 or 2 I am like unrolling my scroll as it goes down the hallway.
BONNIE: We just don’t have time for that.
LILY: I am just kidding, am I? Not at all, it is hard, like of that list I think the biggest transition obviously for me recently was becoming a mum and having a now what 16 month old and going through just I am a very prepared person, a very organised person and I like being able to plan ahead and you know so throughout my whole pregnancy
BONNIE: So you are a control freak
LILY: I mean, we are, I think this is a place for we language here
BONNIE: Yes I am totally up for that
LILY: But one of the things that through my pregnancy I was trying to plan as much as I could and I really focused hard on planning the birth, I didn’t focus as much on planning like what the first few months would be like and I remember having this
BONNIE: This reminds me of your wedding right, you focused hard core on your wedding day and then you like get to the end of it and you are like oh
LILY: now I am married
BONNIE: And you just leave dirty socks all over the floor, anyway continue
LILY: I remember like after literally giving birth and like being in recovery and you know he was in like his little incubator thing because he had swallowed a bit of you know meconium all that kind of stuff anyway and he I was lying there and I was so tired because I started my contractions Friday night and had him Sunday night so I was just absolutely so tired
BONNIE: Mmm long labour
LILY: Long labour
BONNIE: Thanks mum, that’s genetic
LILY: Is it, well I know the first one is always the worst, anyhow I just remember lying there and being like you are so exhausted right now and this is the first time in your life that you have ever felt this exhausted and you cannot sleep because you have to be here for someone else and this is your future and I remember just lying there being like I am so tired
BONNIE: What have I done?
LILY: Can you just give me 24 hours and then I will get back to this whole being a mum gig and I just remember it being like wow and then all the hormones and everything and that first week was just like rough, coming to terms just like so happy and delighted, over the moon, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, happy tears but also just like
LILY: Yeah so many hormones so I think that was the most overwhelming because it was like adjusting to this new identity and then throughout the first year, they say the first year is the hardest but for a first time mum and that first year combined it is just rough, you literally, there is all these like manuals and books but they can’t tell you what to do and it is kind of like the first time in life that I really felt that know one could tell me exactly what to do, people could give advice off their own experience but I was suddenly completely in charge and I was like oh I must be so use to having a little bit of support that I lean on normally because in this instance it is on us
BONNIE: Yes it is funny because we have a friend who regularly says, dating and procreation, having children it is like a surreptitious part of Gods plan for you know populating the earth because even when people tell you how hard it is to be married and how hard it is to have children and young children, you actually have no idea until you are in that place yourself and then you get there and it is too late to go back and you are like if only I had known and like yes it is beautiful being a parent and you get some amazing times with then but it is also the hardest thing I have ever done by a mile and I just think had I known how difficult it was, I might have just stuck to my teaching career where I could send them back at 3 o’clock.
LILY: So yeah I would say that would be my overwhelm. What do you think has been your biggest overwhelm.
BONNIE: Well I am actually living through my biggest overwhelm at the moment which is fun, so when you know look at that list that we kind of explained before about moving is one of the most stressful events of life, workplace stress is another one, so if there is anything going on at work then that yeah happens to, I have had this year too, obviously pregnancy new baby coming, illness yep so I have got gestational diabetes and it is not being very well managed at the moment. I have got two kids with special needs, what else was on the list, just being up here and having next to no support and I did a really really silly thing when we moved and I just can’t
LILY: I love that this is being recorded so that I can replay this, yeah go on
BONNIE: Oh you totally can and this is why it is such a deep dive into the personal experiences side of things because it is, it is such a personal thing and I am still going through it but I do want to give hope to other people who are maybe also going through it because there is a light, there is the end of a tunnel, it might be a ways a away but I can see that it is there but the silly thing that I did is when we moved here was Easter weekend and we had then 2 weeks of school holidays and my husband and I you know we moved on a Sunday night so that we could finish up you know at our church on the Sunday morning and say goodbye to everyone and have the annual Easter egg hunt that we have had for the last 3 or 4 years which was lovely and all that sort of stuff, so we didn’t get here until Sunday night and kind of had that you know quick set up some beds sort of thing and we had the Easter Monday to unpack and of course we had 3 children around us and no extra support for unpacking or childcare or anything like that so we are trying to unpack with 3 kids around us and then on the Tuesday we went back to work, so he had some days off and I stupidly decided because I was so busy at work and I needed to try and squeeze people in, yeah I will go to work on those days that you have off, so the Tuesday, Wednesday I went to work and of course I was still traveling to Brisbane to work for that so you know that’s an extra 3 hours of driving added to my work day or whatever and then he went back to work on the Thursday and then the same thing the follow week which was also school holidays when we was off on his couple of days off, I was at work, and so we had this crazy two weeks where, yeah it should have been a breeze right, you know where the kids weren’t in any sort of after school care or holiday program, there was no support for yeah taking care of them or unpacking which we had so much of before we moved and we were both still trying to work, so one of us was trying to look after 3 kids and unpack and we also didn’t have a lot of furniture, so like it took us
LILY: It is almost comical
BONNIE: Yeah I look back at it and I think you are so dumb
LILY: what were you thinking?
BONNIE: I am just going to blame it on the baby brain because it does make me do some really dumb things
LILY: I hate to tell you but I think a lot of these plans were in place before we knew about number 4
BONNIE: Yeah well maybe some of them were but definitely the timing wise, you know we didn’t have a dinning table, we didn’t have any dining chairs, like we were sitting on camping chairs to eat dinner, we have this like tiny little fitness trampoline for the kids for when they needed to release some energy and they were fitting on the floor eating their dinner around the trampoline and it was just this crazy stuff, like we still have got a mattress on the floor for our bed, no bedside tables, no lamps, like
LILY: The art of making do
BONNIE: It is the art of making do and I like I am 28 weeks pregnant and I am rolling off that mattress onto the floor
LILY: I know
BONNIE: Multiple times a night
LILY: When I came up here and saw it was still on the floor I was like, how is she getting out of bed, you need like a rope from the ceiling that you like hoist yourself up onto.
BONNIE: Lets just say if I have to have a caesarean, which I hope I do not, I am very practiced at the roll so you know it will serve me well.
LILY: That’s true
BONNIE: Yeah, so we have now being up on the coast you know maybe 6 weeks and the kids have started at school and it is slowly getting better, oh the other thing to add into the mix is the day before Good Friday my 6 year old hyperactively ran down the stairs
LILY: Yes of course
BONNIE: And split his head opened
LILY: And that was an ongoing saga because it was glued back together but then another doctor said no that should have been stitched and then they were like
BONNIE: Well the issue was that it wasn’t glued properly and it split open again, so it got glued again the next day and then that didn’t quite work and then you know it was fine so just leave it, it will be a terrible scar but just leave it and then about a month later it was like that’s infected lets have some surgery so you know general anaesthetic for the 6 year old with ASD and a day and a half in hospital for me and of course that happens the week that my husband is away 9-10 hours away on a boys trip and he is like do you want me to come back and I am like no you have been looking forward to this for a year like I will handle it. So year it has just been
LILY: I guess you could say that sometimes life just gets a bit overwhelming
BONNIE: I guess you could. I just remember talking to my GP you know months ago when she was testing for the pregnancy and she was like so how are things going and I was like you know telling her the update of things because she was my GP for so long, she, I get to the end of it and she goes oh I think I need a nap, I am just tired listening to you list what is going on and I am like I actually don’t know how I am still standing half the time and the thing that really just drives me nuts at the moment it like I feel like I have reached my limit right, like I can’t take anymore, this is enough, no more please and then the head thing happened and then the gestational diabetes thing happened and like I just feel like there is more things that are kind of being added on top so it is like overwhelming plus plus plus, like crazy at the moment.
LILY: Now you said that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there has been for you
BONNIE: In the far off distance
LILY: So I am curious because a lot of people can probably relate to this, maybe it is not all of the things that you have mentioned but potentially it is some of them or potentially they have had you know a rough year with COVID or they have had a rough 5 years, 10 years how do you think we can get on top of this overwhelm and how do you think being organised plays a role in that.
BONNIE: I think one of the things that has been helping me is that I am just trying to ride it out and take one day at a time, so not trying to look too far ahead and worry about stuff that is not a priority for right now, so it is a bit of a survival one day at a time sort of thing
LILY: So I think like another way we can look at that is that it is okay to admit that there are times that we can’t do it all
BONNIE: Oh yes
LILY: And even though we are competent and we have been able to do it all before, it is okay to be gracious with ourselves and have like space and allow ourselves to just sit in that moment of okay it is overwhelming right now I normally can do all these kinds of fancy pinterest crafty things for my kids but I can’t right now because there is too much on that doesn’t make me a bad mum and that’s okay
BONNIE: I mean I get to the end of the day and I am happy if everybody still alive and we have gone to bed with food in our stomachs.
LILY: I think alive and in one piece and a full belly is probably a good minimum standard to set
BONNIE: Yeah I mean you just have those days as a mum anyway where you just have to be like its okay to have brinner, breakfast for dinner
LILY: Oh my gosh
BONNIE: My kids love it, they think it is awesome and to not worry so much, one of the things that was really helpful is we outsourced the meals for myself for about 2 weeks and got like a company that delivered a bunch of really healthy meals so I could just microwave it in a couple of minutes and that was really good especially the days that I had to go to work, so I think outsourcing where you can, we have had a guy come and mow the lawn once or twice, that has been really helpful, the other thing that probably is really good is just practicing that gratitude of getting to the end of the day and going like oh I am really grateful that the day is over or like one of the reasons we moved to the coast is to be nearer to the beach, and we are only 15 minutes away from the beach here and we have gone probably once or twice a week and it is getting cold now, you know we are in May and May gets a bit chilly but the water temperature is still nice and so every time we have gotten to the beach it doesn’t matter if it is just for an hour because we are only 15 minutes away now praise the lord I do get really refreshed down there, like that is my zen space so that is really helping because I haven’t been able to get back to the gym or get back to my swimming laps or anything, or Yoga but getting to the beach, watching the kids kind of let loose for an hour, watching my 5 year old, all of my kids were kind of afraid of the waves 2 months ago and now since living here and going to the beach and jumping through the waves, they are all like yeah bring it on.
LILY: That is so good isn’t it.
BONNIE: Yes so that is really giving me hope because that’s is one of the key factors for why we actually moved here in the first place. So I think another thing that is helping is routine, so starting to get into the routine of these are the appointments and therapies that we have got regularly every week, these are the days of day care, so part of that out sourcing is you know the 3 year old goes to 2 days a week day care the other 2 go to an after school care program the same 2 days and that allows me to have those work days but if for some reason work doesn’t go all day I have got a few extra hours spare that I can you know do some grocery shopping or catch up on you know washing and stuff at home.
LILY: So one of the things that commonly happens when we are getting overwhelmed is that systems start falling apart
LILY: So trying to keep them in place where possible to stop it from snowballing is really important so when we are talking about routines, making sure that you even if you cant do things down to the minute you still know that if you need to do X on Thursdays that you still make sure that activity, that responsibility does get done even if it gets done at a different time, so just trying to make sure that it doesn’t become really overwhelming and big from the fact that we are doing things, you know
BONNIE: Yeah, yeah absolutely and I think the other thing that is slowly starting to bring the light closer is also the setting up of those systems at home because we didn’t have toy storage when we moved, we didn’t have the go zone and we are slowly setting those things up and now that they are starting to be in place it is like making me breath a bit easier because I know that I don’t have to have all of these reusable woollies and Coles bags all over the place with each category of toys in them anymore, that have actually got a system
LILY: In that chaos she is still organised people.
BONNIE: Well I have to be because it is actually bringing a bit of sanity back
LILY: Yeah for sure. So I think if you are in a position right now where you are feeling really overwhelmed with life, first things first know it is okay, it is okay to take a pause and to sit with like a little bit of discomfort and accept that things may not get done how they have in the past and that is okay
BONNIE: Yeah grace is really good, give yourself that space to be gracious about it, to accept that okay is overwhelming, it is not ideal but it is not going to be like this in 5 months or 5 years time, give yourself the space to go and cry if you need to because that helps release all that emotion that is pent up but then on the flip side, just do small things that will help, so whether that is going for a walk around the block, like we really underestimate the power of sunshine and fresh air
LILY: Yeah and exercise is shown to boost mood,
BONNIE: It is huge
LILY: It is heavily in the research so getting outside, getting some exercise done is actually really important, another thing I would like to tack onto what you were saying earlier is about expressing gratitude because if we can find things to be thankful for even on the toughest days it teaches us that there is something to look forward to and it instils hope. So one thing that we do in our household that might be useful for you guys to do
BONNIE: Oh yes I love this
LILY: Yeah is every night we do a check in where we ask the other person what was the highlight of your day, what was the challenge of your day and what are you looking forward to tomorrow and what are you grateful for, and it is just a really nice way to check in with your partner, your kids whoever or your friends and see how everyone is doing but also to instil that hope for tomorrow that sometimes life is overwhelming but we can have something in the following day to look forward to even if it is getting up and just having peanut butter on toast you really love peanut butter and you are excited to eat it, it can be that simple even if you know that you are going to a workplace that is really stressful at least I have got that peanut butter in the morning that I can look forward to
BONNIE: Yeah and I think there is a real power in words and to often we can be in the place of overwhelm and think life is terrible, life is rough I am never going to get out of that but when we actually turn it one it’s head and acknowledge yep okay it is not great right now but it is going to get better and I am grateful for the sunshine and we start to speak more positivity about our situation, to our family you know when we meet people on the street and they say how are things going? Oh yeah it is tough but it is okay, you know I have this to look forward to, I think that really changes your mindset in a really powerful and positive way.
LILY: So what is our tidy task for this week Bon?
BONNIE: So your tidy task this week is if you are experiencing overwhelm, A you are not alone come and chat to me in the Little Home Organised Facebook community group and we can talk about our overwhelm together but also your tidy task is just to pick one of the strategies that we have outlined and to start implementing it, so whether it is something about giving yourself grace, or taking time daily for you, we know a 10 minute walk, practising gratitude
LILY: Delegating tasks
BONNIE: Out sourcing, organising a small space in your house which can help you kind of regain that sanity, those strategies will really help, so just pick one of those strategies and start working it out
LILY: And adding onto that going back to the research, reach out to your support network is like always important so make sure that you
BONNIE: Ask for help
LILY: Yeah, text, message, call catch up with friend for coffee, go for a walk, reach out to your support network, it is actually very important.
BONNIE: It definitely is.
LILY: That’s it for this weeks episode, thank you so much for tuning in and choosing to have us in your ears.
BONNIE: And remember PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION.
LILY: See you later
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